11/30/2004
Kathleen, seductively, to John: "You have big feet. You know what they say about people with big feet, don't you? They have big shoes."

Me: "Okay, Kathleen, question ten: The aspect that most affects movie ratings is the sexual content... if that was the only criteria, what would the rating on your life be? ... John?"
John: "I can't answer that question; we SELL that tape."
Kathleen: "Heh, yeah... Wait! Which one are you selling?!"

Dave: "Now, for me, when I first meet someone, I like them to be fully clothed."

1 Dec 2004
Me: "It's like the Borg."
Angel: "What, my hair?"
Me: "Yes. It's a hive mind, only less digital."
Angel: "Oh, no. My hair's completely digital."

11 Dec 04
Tasha: "So, like, we were going for this 1940s irridesent gems thing, and then we realised, you know what's in right now? Watch bands!"

17 Dec 04
Angel: "Nutritious and delicious, tastes just like basilisk! It's the chicken of the supernatural world."

19 Dec 04
Angel: "Yeah, my mother was raped by a pixie."

21 Dec 04
Angel: "Oh, my god, and I'm wearing, like, a really BAD dress!"

Me: "You know what we should do? That sleepy thing!"
John: "Smoke more pot?"
Me: "That's not quite the same thing."
John: "I don't mind."

29 Dec 04
Angel: *squeezes my boobs*
Me: "Hey! Those are mine!"
Angel: "Nah. I'm leasing them!"
Me: "Leasing them?!"
Angel: "It's rent-to-own. You know, from Rent-A-Center."

2 Jan 05
Tasha: "Dave, you have the gigantic urge to get me a glass of juice."
Angel: "...And an urge to get me a glass of absinthe. You only have to go to Czechoslovakia to get it."
Dave: "You *points at Angel* can go to hell."
Angel: "Probably will."
Dave: "Or to Czechoslovakia. That's probably better."

4 Jan 05
Angel: "And he'll be so happy when he sees my ad pop up in his, and he'll be like, 'Awww, it's a cute little boy!' ... ... ... Okay, NEVER say that again."

8 Jan 05
Me: "I've never seen Schindler's List."
Angel: "It's really good. Even from a viewpoint that's ... not mine, it's really good."

11 Jan 05
Angel: "OH!!! You have a FRIEND in Monkeydom!"
John: "... I don't know how I feel about this."

13 Jan 05
Sora: "Wow, it seems like it's ... bigger."
Angel: "That happens when they're happy."

Angel: "I don't think I've ever been so quoted in all my life."

16 Jan 05
Tasha: "Wow, it's so you!"
Me: "Um, which one of us?"
Tasha: "Yes!"

4 Feb 05
Angel: "So, which one do you want to lose more? [The knight or the rook?]"
Me: "Ummmm... How about... My bishop just takes your queen?"
Angel: "How about not?"
Me: "But my bishop just ate her. She's really tasty."
Angel: "No, actually, she's not. She tastes like fish. You see, she doesn't bathe much, and she's rather unpleasant."

10 Feb 05
Me: "You really have to be in the right mood for these songs."
Angel: "I will never be in that mood. And if I am, I'll commit suicide."

20 Feb 05
Angel: "So, maybe if we're out on a cruise or something..."
Me: "Ah, yes, the great SEA MOOSE."
Angel: "Quote yourself! Quote yourself RIGHT NOW!"

23 Feb 05
Angel: "Now, if I were a cantelope, and somebody took one of my seeds to Texas and bred it with a cantelope there, I would disown that cantelope."

25 Feb 05
Angel, very sincerely: "If silence were golden, you'd be worth five camels to me."

27 Feb 05
Angel: *choking, hacking cough* "Note to self... Stop licking the cat."

Angel, after the previous quote was posted: "Note that that was not the first time I've said that... Merely the first in which it wasn't true."

4 Mar 05
Angel: "Oooh, now THAT'S what I need -- a War Hobbit!"

Angel: "And they'd be like, 'But they're COMPLETELY without honour!' And I'd be like, 'I can respect that.'"

7 Mar 05
Angel: "I am not going to turn into Lucius. My son is not going to turn into me--Draco."

18 Mar 05
Angel: "Now see what your fucking rambling has done to me?! I thought this was a coat!"

Angel: "Oh, well. Evil and stuff! *maniacal, cackling giggle*"

21 Mar 05
Angel: "Oh, not-so-gay hell."

Angel: "I'm a repressed heterosexual."

22 Mar 05
Me, annoyed: "Honey."
Angel, bratlike: "Darling?"
Me: "Sweetheart."
Angel: "Dumpling?"
Me: "Babycakes."
Angel: "Arsenic?"
Me: "That was exactly what I was thinking."
Angel: "Don't look at me like that."

Angel: "So, technically, you don't exist?"
Me: "Uh-huh!"
Angel: "My god, you're a Buddhist's wet dream."

1 Apr 05
Angel: "You are my anti-drug! ... Except when you have broken arms. Then you're my supplier!"

2 Apr 05
Angel: "Yeah... I'm kind of an evil bastard, but it gets me laid."

5 Apr 05
Angel: "All we'd have to do is pretend to care!"
Me: "What do you think I do all day?!"
Angel: "See? We're naturals! I'd pretend to care... Well, as much as I can. You'd pretend to care... and it'd be convincing!"

6 Apr 05
Angel: "They're wonderful illusionists. But they've all sold their souls to Satan. This is the one time you'll hear me say, 'Yay, Christian!'"

11 Apr 05
Angel: "Don't get condescending with me. I'll fuck you."

12 Apr 05
Angel: "I want a moped. I want it to be flaming pink, so I can call it the Goth-mobile."

2X Apr 05
Angie: "Gary, are they going to sacrifice a goat?"

22 Apr 05
Angel: "Why can't my imp have a sword?"
Me: "He wouldn't be big enough to wield it!"
Angel: "...He could have a toothpick!"

25 Apr 05
Angel: "And there's a lot more where that came from. I own a chicken and I know where you live!"

29 Apr 05
Me: "Oh, for the love of god. Do you want me to go buy you crackers?!"
Angel: "No... I'll live. Kind of. In a crackerless misery."
Me: "Oh, good."

1 May 05
Me: "Oh. By the way, happy Beltane."
Angelus: "Thank you. ... What are we doing?"
Me: "For Beltane? I don't know. What would you like to do?"
Angelus: "Sex."
Me: "Well, that would be traditional..."
Angelus: "Exactly."

4 May 05
Jahala, singsong: "My dick is bigger than yoooours... AND it's coloured!"

8 May 05 (ish)
Me, to Angel: "We don't need a cat. We have you."

15 May 05
Angel: "Well, you said you needed social interaction; here I am. Your call went up to Heaven; they transferred. And now, you've got me."

Angel: "Listen, you self-centered condescending bitch."
Me: "Yes, sweetheart? What can I do for you?"
Angel: "DIE."

28 May 05
Me: "And the last option on this quiz is, 'I'm not friends with any men that aren't gay. The only straight men I know, I'm sleeping with.'"
Angel: "Well, you can answer that one!"
Me: "No, I can't!"
Angel: "But you're sleeping with me!"
Me: "...But I know other straight men!"
Angel: "And... oh, right. I'm gay. I forgot."

19 June 05
Me to Angel: "If evil were like cream filling, you'd be worse than a twinkie."

22 June 05
Pam: "Wow, that tree looks just like the ones in Morrowind, with the way it renders against the sky... in real life..."

Angel: "Yes, I grope you, but now, I do it as your husband."

2 July 05
Angel: "And I don't stop pollenating her. I pollenate her all night long. I pollenate her real good."

10 July 05
As we passed a large barn with the word "ALPACAS" on it:
Me: "But you can't tell from the name that they look like llamas!"

14 Aug 05
Angel: "And she'd be like, 'Grrr... What are you doing?!' and he'd be like, 'Grrr... I want a cookie.'"

15 Aug 05
Angel: "...I need artificial shark repellent."
Me: "...To repel artificial sharks?"
Angel: "YES!"

2X Sep 05
Sabrina: "You know, Angelus, there are times when I'm really glad you're gay..."

5 Oct 05
Angelus: "Depending on how much I drink tonight, I might get really drunk."

24 Nov 05
Chris: "No, no. I like my meat."
Me: "Well, as long as you're sure..."

8 Jan 06
Chris: "Oh, bitch, bitch bitch..."
Me: "?!"
Chris: "Not you. Well, you sometimes. But you know it's true!"

Chris: "You know if you've run out of semen -- it's a good weekend."

21 Jan 06
Chris, in bed: "...And I think I actually remember the math to prove it!"
Me, also in bed: "Oooh! Me see!"
Chris: "Okay! But not right now."
Me: "Oh, why not??"
Chris: "First off, I'm tired. Second, I'm out of semen."
Me: "Wait... You need semen to do Calculus?"
Chris: "Well, no, but it helps."

28 Jan 06
Me: "So, you mean we've leveled up... in sex?!"

3 Feb 06
Chris: "I haven't eaten since... food."

Chris: "Let me rephrase that. If you were a whore, which you are not, you'd be the sort of whore people would fly half-way across the world for."
Me: "Then I wouldn't be a whore, I'd be a courtesan. ... Actually considered that for a while."
Chris: "What, as a career option?"
Me: "Sure!"
Chris: "What did the Guidance Office think of that?"

27 Feb 06
Chris: "I'll allow you to keep your pants."
Me: "Oh, gee, thanks."

6 Mar 06
While playing Yahtzee
Chris: "Fuck you, dice. Fuck you in your stupid asses."
Me: "Would that be the one-pip?"
Chris: "I guess? I don't know. Maybe you'd have to drill a special hole for it. But you," points at die, "You're on my shit list."

8 Mar 06
Chris: "Dude. Chicks dig dipthongs."